this is just a section on me as a person and my life and stuff so yeah:)

I grew up in a really small town in norfolk, england and i really like it here but i do wanna move to germany as soon as i finish college:)

i live with my mum, brother and step-dad and they’re all alright, but i love my little brother to bits and he’s my world:) my real dad was heavily into drugs and left me and my mum who really struggled with her own issues so for the most part of my childhood i lived with my grand parents. However my grandparents had issues of their own and my grandma was an alcoholic and it was a very violent and angry house, however i was my grandparents world and i know how much they loved me:) when my grandma passed away from her addiction, my grandad moved out and gave us his house and that’s when my step-dad came. i dont really remember a time without my step-dad because i was quite young when he came, but i dont think i realise how much he gave up for us. he had his life planned out and had football trials at several football clubs(he was only 17 when he got with my mum). but he gave everything up in order to look after me while my mum worked, he helped me read and write, taught me to ride a bike, took me to my favourite places, walked me to and from school everyday. nowadays we really dont get on well, but im still appericiative of everything he’s done for us.

nowadays im a really self conscious, self hating person and i really dislike what i am. i am really nice, but people perceive me as an agressive person, just because i stick up for what i think. when people get to know me they realise how lovely i am, and that i am actually good fun(y)

i’ve been through every type of phase imaginable, probably like most people. i use to cut on a regular basis and i dont really know why, the last time i did it was about 8 weeks ago and it was pretty bad(todays the 28/9/11) but im starting to realise that if im angry thats not the way of doing things. im also bulimic although, i hate that word and i kind of know why i do it, and its just because i hate how i look and especially as my friends are all gorgeous and thin and i just wanna look like them too. ive been doing it for over 2 and a half years and ive really messed up my body pretty badly. ive been on so many different tablets to try and build my stomach back up normally but i continue to do it. because its become habit i can literally just look at a toilet and ill be sick, and its scary at how easy i find it. it also means i constantly feel sick, which is why i dont eat that much but ive been given tablets that are going to help and i really hope i can stop soon :)

relationships have fucked me over so much in the past but im always gonna love matty, he’s always gonna mean everything to me. no matter what.

this is just abit of my life and i hope you all can view me abit differently now:)<3